Index: trunk/src/org/openstreetmap/josm/actions/relation/DownloadMembersAction.java
===================================================================
--- trunk/src/org/openstreetmap/josm/actions/relation/DownloadMembersAction.java	(revision 17340)
+++ trunk/src/org/openstreetmap/josm/actions/relation/DownloadMembersAction.java	(revision 17341)
@@ -7,12 +7,12 @@
 import java.awt.event.ActionEvent;
 import java.util.Collection;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.stream.Collectors;
 
 import org.openstreetmap.josm.data.osm.IPrimitive;
-import org.openstreetmap.josm.data.osm.Relation;
+import org.openstreetmap.josm.data.osm.PrimitiveId;
 import org.openstreetmap.josm.gui.MainApplication;
-import org.openstreetmap.josm.gui.dialogs.relation.DownloadRelationTask;
+import org.openstreetmap.josm.gui.io.DownloadPrimitivesTask;
 import org.openstreetmap.josm.tools.ImageProvider;
-import org.openstreetmap.josm.tools.SubclassFilteredCollection;
-import org.openstreetmap.josm.tools.Utils;
 
 /**
@@ -35,12 +35,15 @@
     public void actionPerformed(ActionEvent e) {
         if (!isEnabled() || relations.isEmpty() || !MainApplication.isDisplayingMapView()) return;
-        MainApplication.worker.submit(new DownloadRelationTask(
-                Utils.filteredCollection(relations, Relation.class), MainApplication.getLayerManager().getEditLayer()));
+        List<PrimitiveId> members = relations.stream()
+                .flatMap(r -> r.getMemberPrimitivesList().stream().filter(osm -> !osm.isNew()).map(IPrimitive::getOsmPrimitiveId))
+                .distinct()
+                .collect(Collectors.toList());
+
+        MainApplication.worker.submit(new DownloadPrimitivesTask(MainApplication.getLayerManager().getEditLayer(), members, false));
     }
 
     @Override
     public void setPrimitives(Collection<? extends IPrimitive> primitives) {
-        // selected non-new relations
-        this.relations = SubclassFilteredCollection.filter(getRelations(primitives), r -> !r.isNew());
+        this.relations = getRelations(primitives);
         updateEnabledState();
     }
Index: trunk/src/org/openstreetmap/josm/data/osm/DataSetMerger.java
===================================================================
--- trunk/src/org/openstreetmap/josm/data/osm/DataSetMerger.java	(revision 17340)
+++ trunk/src/org/openstreetmap/josm/data/osm/DataSetMerger.java	(revision 17341)
@@ -302,20 +302,9 @@
             return true;
 
-        if (target.isIncomplete() && !source.isIncomplete()) {
-            // target is incomplete, source completes it
-            // => merge source into target
-            //
-            target.mergeFrom(source);
-            objectsWithChildrenToMerge.add(source.getPrimitiveId());
-        } else if (!target.isIncomplete() && source.isIncomplete()) {
-            // target is complete and source is incomplete
-            // => keep target, it has more information already
-            //
-        } else if (target.isIncomplete() && source.isIncomplete()) {
-            // target and source are incomplete. Doesn't matter which one to
-            // take. We take target.
-            //
-        } else if (!target.isModified() && !source.isModified() && target.isVisible() != source.isVisible()
-                && target.getVersion() == source.getVersion()) {
+        boolean mergeFromSource = false;
+        boolean haveSameVersion = target.getVersion() == source.getVersion();
+
+        if (haveSameVersion && !target.isModified() && !source.isModified()
+                && target.isVisible() != source.isVisible()) {
             // Same version, but different "visible" attribute and neither of them are modified.
             // It indicates a serious problem in datasets.
@@ -324,5 +313,23 @@
             throw new DataIntegrityProblemException(tr("Conflict in ''visible'' attribute for object of type {0} with id {1}",
                     target.getType(), target.getId()));
-        } else if (target.isDeleted() && !source.isDeleted() && target.getVersion() == source.getVersion()) {
+        }
+
+        if (!target.isModified() && source.isDeleted()) {
+            // target not modified and source is deleted
+            // So mark it to be deleted. See #20091
+            //
+            objectsToDelete.add(target);
+        } else if (source.isIncomplete()) {
+            // source is incomplete. Nothing to do.
+            //
+        } else if (target.isIncomplete()) {
+            // target is incomplete, source completes it
+            // => merge source into target
+            //
+            mergeFromSource = true;
+        } else if (target.isDeleted() && source.isDeleted() && !haveSameVersion) {
+            // both deleted. Source is newer. Take source. See #19783
+            mergeFromSource = true;
+        } else if (target.isDeleted() && !source.isDeleted() && haveSameVersion) {
             // same version, but target is deleted. Assume target takes precedence
             // otherwise too many conflicts when refreshing from the server
@@ -340,25 +347,13 @@
                 }
             }
-        } else if (!target.isModified() && source.isDeleted()) {
-            // target not modified. We can assume that source is the most recent version,
-            // so mark it to be deleted.
-            //
-            objectsToDelete.add(target);
         } else if (!target.isModified() && source.isModified()) {
             // target not modified. We can assume that source is the most recent version.
             // clone it into target.
-            target.mergeFrom(source);
-            objectsWithChildrenToMerge.add(source.getPrimitiveId());
-        } else if (!target.isModified() && !source.isModified() && target.getVersion() == source.getVersion()) {
-            // both not modified. Merge nevertheless.
+            mergeFromSource = true;
+        } else if (!target.isModified() && !source.isModified()) {
+            // both not modified. Merge nevertheless, even if versions are the same
             // This helps when updating "empty" relations, see #4295
-            target.mergeFrom(source);
-            objectsWithChildrenToMerge.add(source.getPrimitiveId());
-        } else if (!target.isModified() && !source.isModified() && target.getVersion() < source.getVersion()) {
-            // my not modified but other is newer. clone other onto mine.
-            //
-            target.mergeFrom(source);
-            objectsWithChildrenToMerge.add(source.getPrimitiveId());
-        } else if (target.isModified() && !source.isModified() && target.getVersion() == source.getVersion()) {
+            mergeFromSource = true;
+        } else if (target.isModified() && !source.isModified() && haveSameVersion) {
             // target is same as source but target is modified
             // => keep target and reset modified flag if target and source are semantically equal
@@ -368,5 +363,5 @@
         } else if (source.isDeleted() != target.isDeleted()) {
             // target is modified and deleted state differs.
-            // this have to be resolved manually.
+            // this has to be resolved manually.
             //
             addConflict(target, source);
@@ -381,4 +376,7 @@
             // attributes should already be equal if we get here.
             //
+            mergeFromSource = true;
+        }
+        if (mergeFromSource) {
             target.mergeFrom(source);
             objectsWithChildrenToMerge.add(source.getPrimitiveId());
Index: trunk/test/unit/org/openstreetmap/josm/data/osm/DataSetMergerTest.java
===================================================================
--- trunk/test/unit/org/openstreetmap/josm/data/osm/DataSetMergerTest.java	(revision 17340)
+++ trunk/test/unit/org/openstreetmap/josm/data/osm/DataSetMergerTest.java	(revision 17341)
@@ -7,4 +7,5 @@
 import static org.junit.jupiter.api.Assertions.assertNotSame;
 import static org.junit.jupiter.api.Assertions.assertSame;
+import static org.junit.jupiter.api.Assertions.assertThrows;
 import static org.junit.jupiter.api.Assertions.assertTrue;
 import static org.junit.jupiter.api.Assertions.fail;
@@ -22,8 +23,10 @@
 import org.openstreetmap.josm.data.projection.ProjectionRegistry;
 import org.openstreetmap.josm.data.projection.Projections;
+import org.openstreetmap.josm.gui.progress.NullProgressMonitor;
 import org.openstreetmap.josm.testutils.JOSMTestRules;
 import org.openstreetmap.josm.tools.date.DateUtils;
 
 import edu.umd.cs.findbugs.annotations.SuppressFBWarnings;
+
 /**
  * Unit tests for class {@link DataSetMerger}.
@@ -974,4 +977,205 @@
     }
 
+    /**
+     * merge two equal objects with different visibility,
+     * => make sure that DataIntegrityProblemException is thrown.
+     */
+    @Test
+    void testSameVersionAndDifferentVisibility() {
+
+        // -- source dataset
+
+        // a complete node
+        Node n1 = new Node(1, 2);
+        n1.setCoor(new LatLon(1, 1));
+        n1.setVisible(true);
+        assertFalse(n1.isModified());
+        their.addPrimitive(n1);
+
+        // --- target dataset
+        // an complete node
+        Node n1b = new Node(1, 2);
+        n1b.setCoor(new LatLon(1, 1));
+        n1b.setVisible(false);
+        assertFalse(n1b.isModified());
+        my.addPrimitive(n1b);
+
+        //-- merge it
+        DataSetMerger visitor = new DataSetMerger(my, their);
+        assertThrows(DataIntegrityProblemException.class, () -> visitor.merge());
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * node without referrers deleted in source
+     */
+    @Test
+    void testDeletedSingleNode() {
+
+        // -- source dataset
+
+        // a complete node
+        Node n1 = new Node(1, 1);
+        n1.setCoor(new LatLon(1, 1));
+        n1.setVisible(true);
+        assertFalse(n1.isModified());
+        their.addPrimitive(n1);
+
+        //-- merge it to create identical copies
+        DataSetMerger visitor = new DataSetMerger(my, their);
+        visitor.merge();
+
+        n1.setDeleted(true);
+
+        visitor = new DataSetMerger(my, their);
+        visitor.merge();
+        OsmPrimitive n1b = my.getPrimitiveById(n1);
+        assertTrue(n1b.isDeleted());
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * node without referrers deleted in source
+     */
+    @Test
+    void testDeletedSingleNodeWithMonitor() {
+
+        // -- source dataset
+
+        // a complete node
+        Node n1 = new Node(1, 1);
+        n1.setCoor(new LatLon(1, 1));
+        n1.setVisible(true);
+        assertFalse(n1.isModified());
+        their.addPrimitive(n1);
+
+        //-- merge it to create identical copies
+        DataSetMerger visitor = new DataSetMerger(my, their);
+        visitor.merge(NullProgressMonitor.INSTANCE);
+
+        n1.setDeleted(true);
+
+        visitor = new DataSetMerger(my, their);
+        visitor.merge(NullProgressMonitor.INSTANCE);
+        OsmPrimitive n1b = my.getPrimitiveById(n1);
+        assertTrue(n1b.isDeleted());
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Way without referrers deleted in source
+     */
+    @Test
+    void testDeletedWayNoReferrers () {
+
+        // -- source dataset
+
+        // a complete way with two nodes
+        Node n1 = new Node(1, 1);
+        n1.setCoor(new LatLon(1, 1));
+        Node n2 = new Node(2, 1);
+        n2.setCoor(new LatLon(1, 1));
+        n1.setVisible(true);
+        n2.setVisible(true);
+        their.addPrimitive(n1);
+        their.addPrimitive(n2);
+        Way w1 = new Way(1,1);
+        their.addPrimitive(w1);
+        w1.addNode(n1);
+        w1.addNode(n2);
+        w1.setVisible(true);
+        w1.setModified(false);
+        assertFalse(n1.isModified());
+        assertFalse(n2.isModified());
+        assertFalse(w1.isModified());
+
+        //-- merge it to create identical copies
+        DataSetMerger visitor = new DataSetMerger(my, their);
+        visitor.merge();
+
+        w1.setDeleted(true);
+
+        visitor = new DataSetMerger(my, their);
+        visitor.merge();
+        OsmPrimitive w1b = my.getPrimitiveById(w1);
+        assertTrue(w1b.isDeleted());
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Dependency loop in relations,, both deleted in source
+     * => make sure that DataIntegrityProblemException is thrown.
+     */
+    @Test
+    void testDeletedRelationLoop() {
+
+        // -- source dataset
+        Relation r1 = new Relation(1, 1);
+        Relation r2 = new Relation(2, 1);
+        their.addPrimitive(r1);
+        their.addPrimitive(r2);
+        // create dependency loop
+        r1.addMember(new RelationMember("", r2));
+        r2.addMember(new RelationMember("", r1));
+
+        //-- merge it to create identical copies
+        DataSetMerger visitor = new DataSetMerger(my, their);
+        visitor.merge();
+
+        r1.setMembers(null);
+        r2.setMembers(null);
+        r1.setDeleted(true);
+        r2.setDeleted(true);
+        visitor = new DataSetMerger(my, their);
+        visitor.merge();
+
+        OsmPrimitive r1b = my.getPrimitiveById(r1);
+        OsmPrimitive r2b = my.getPrimitiveById(r2);
+        assertTrue(r1b.isDeleted());
+        assertTrue(r2b.isDeleted());
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Way is deleted in my but member of relation in their
+     */
+    @Test
+    void testDeletedWayStillMemberOfRelation() {
+
+        // -- source dataset
+        Node n1 = new Node(1, 1);
+        n1.setCoor(new LatLon(1, 1));
+        Node n2 = new Node(2, 1);
+        n2.setCoor(new LatLon(1, 1));
+        n1.setVisible(true);
+        n2.setVisible(true);
+        their.addPrimitive(n1);
+        their.addPrimitive(n2);
+        Way w1 = new Way(1,1);
+        their.addPrimitive(w1);
+        w1.addNode(n1);
+        w1.addNode(n2);
+        w1.setVisible(true);
+        w1.setModified(false);
+        assertFalse(n1.isModified());
+        assertFalse(n2.isModified());
+        assertFalse(w1.isModified());
+
+        //-- merge it to create identical copies
+        DataSetMerger visitor = new DataSetMerger(my, their);
+        visitor.merge();
+
+        // let relation use the way that is in my dataset
+        Relation r1 = new Relation(1, 1);
+        their.addPrimitive(r1);
+        r1.addMember(new RelationMember("", w1));
+
+        Way myWay = (Way) my.getPrimitiveById(w1);
+        myWay.setNodes(null);
+        myWay.setDeleted(true);
+
+        visitor = new DataSetMerger(my, their);
+        visitor.merge();
+        assertFalse(visitor.getConflicts().isEmpty());
+        assertFalse(myWay.isDeleted());
+        assertTrue(myWay.isEmpty());
+        my.clear(); // prevent error from consistency test
+    }
+
     private void doTestTicket7481(DataSet source, DataSet target) {
         // Local node A
@@ -1100,3 +1304,70 @@
         assertTrue(n.isModified());
     }
+
+    /**
+     * Non-regression test for <a href="https://josm.openstreetmap.de/ticket/19783">Bug #19783</a>.
+     */
+    @Test
+    void testTicket19783() {
+        // Server node: deleted
+        Node n1 = new Node(1, 2);
+        n1.setDeleted(true);
+        n1.setVisible(false);
+        n1.setModified(false);
+        assertFalse(n1.isModified());
+        their.addPrimitive(n1);
+
+        // Local node: one modification: move
+        Node n1b = new Node(1, 1);
+        n1b.setCoor(new LatLon(1, 1));
+        n1.setIncomplete(false);
+        assertFalse(n1b.isModified());
+        my.addPrimitive(n1b);
+        n1b.setDeleted(true);
+        assertTrue(n1b.isModified());
+
+        // Merge
+        DataSetMerger visitor = new DataSetMerger(my, their);
+        visitor.merge();
+
+        // Check that modification is gone and version was merged
+        Node n = (Node) my.getPrimitiveById(1, OsmPrimitiveType.NODE);
+        assertNotNull(n);
+        assertFalse(n.isModified());
+        assertFalse(n.isVisible());
+        assertTrue(n.isDeleted());
+        assertEquals(2, n.getVersion());
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Non-regression test for <a href="https://josm.openstreetmap.de/ticket/20091">Bug #20091</a>.
+     * Relation refers to incomplete way that ways deleted on server.
+     */
+    @Test
+    void testTicket20091() {
+        // Server way: deleted
+        Way w1 = new Way(1, 2);
+        w1.setDeleted(true);
+        w1.setVisible(false);
+        w1.setModified(false);
+        assertFalse(w1.isModified());
+        their.addPrimitive(w1);
+
+        Way w1b = new Way(1);
+        w1b.setIncomplete(true);
+        my.addPrimitive(w1b);
+        Relation r1 = new Relation(1, 1);
+        r1.addMember(new RelationMember("outer", w1b));
+        r1.setModified(true);
+        my.addPrimitive(r1);
+
+        // Merge
+        DataSetMerger visitor = new DataSetMerger(my, their);
+        visitor.merge();
+
+        assertEquals(1, visitor.getConflicts().size());
+        assertTrue(r1.isModified());
+        assertEquals(w1b, visitor.getConflicts().iterator().next().getMy());
+    }
+
 }
